Being My Own Sage

This week was the last time that our meditation class met. We had lost more than half the original participants (there were four of us this week; we had started with eleven people seven weeks ago), so just making it through the class sessions was somewhat of an accomplishment. But it was also a reminder of how difficult and important staying motivated is to learning to meditate.

Still, with only a few remaining soldiers, our last class was really great, and it makes the fact that the classes are done even more sad because I’ve really enjoyed our meetings. The central reason I’ve enjoyed the class so much is because I’ve had several of my best meditation sessions there. And now I have attempt to transfer the empowering weekly experiences I had in class to home, by myself, which is difficult for more reasons than one.

Anna (our meditation class teacher) is a great meditation guide, which is part of the reason that all of

us felt we had our best sessions in class. With Anna leading our sessions with suggestive language and the voice of experience, it was always easy to fall deep into relaxation and a Zen-like flow. But it’s difficult to have similar experiences without her guidance (and fellow classmates).

Though I must admit, Anna has been preparing us for this transfer. Three weeks ago, she provided us with a self-mediation script outline, which she assigned us to complete and record an audio recording of. I tried it, but I found it really silly to listen to myself saying the kinds of things that Anna says in our sessions (e.g., “let yourself fall deeper and become more relaxed” and “just notice what it feels like to be…”). I laughed out loud listening to myself. But Anna insists that it is incredibly empowering to record your own guided meditation instructions. It’s something I may try again later.

Anna also made another point that seems to apply to transfer. Although some may have been discouraged by the low-rate of class graduates, she has said several times, “this may not click for you now, but maybe in a year from now you’ll think ‘oh yeah, I’m going to start trying that thing I learned in that class!’”  It’s a very practical view, which I is really hard to assess—the long-term impact of learning. I think it illustrates part of the difficultly of measuring transfer because eventually prior and current knowledge blend together. Initially, a learner may not connect the story of the attack on the city with the problem with the stomach tumor, but if you had to deal with the stomach tumor problem several times of the course of a year, the solution might come to you.

Anyways, it’s now up to me to be my own motivation and guide, so I’m hoping that I can continue to find time to improve my meditation sessions. I feel that the activity is worthwhile.